The kraken! Aaaaaaagggkkkk!

So it was my friend's birthday yesterday, and she had a barbecue today to celebrate. I did not attend because a) I am a bad friend, and b) I was emotionally and physically exhausted. So I told her over text that if I left my house I might actually turn into the kraken, which sometimes lives in my belly and makes terrifying noises and moans and groans and makes a ruckus when it feels so inclined.

Rather than liberate the kraken, I decided to remain safely at home. And I reminded her that no one wants the kraken at a party. This is why.